Catching up...

So, I went to a class on Monday morning with Janna... who I follow on instagram and is just the bee's knees. Class was great but I always think back on a class like "I know I could've done that better" or "how did I forget to do that" "she said take the vinyasa and I went straight to down dog because my arms were tired but I know I could've done it anyway..." So in all honesty, it is wednesday and I am still rehashing this class over and over again in my mind... Specifically when we were in a wide legged utanasa, she said we could go into tripod headstand, which is just the best feeling ever for me, I feel so balanced on my head like that... and I got stuck in "tripod, tripod" like headstand knees on my elbows for some reason... It was a really good class though... I keep thinking back to my days as a dancer though and getting my postures confused... like "bridge" in yoga isn't the same as "bridge" in dance. Also, "tripod" isn't the same... a few other things as well. So, I get confused, but all in all I think my dance background is helpful with this whole journey. More so the warmups and stretches than the actual dance, and more so the physical aspect than the mental aspect because dance is all about comparing you to the best person in the class and has nothing to do with your personal best, your body type, your physical limitations... its all about perfection. Yoga isn't about that, its the journey through the body into the mind and back again. "Body not inflexible. Mind inflexible." - I love this quote. I think I saw it on Keno Macgregor's facebook fan page which is always loaded with great advice. I usually denounce facebook and all technology but in this way it has been so helpful to be able to reach out to this guru's, master's of their art, via the internet. Its like I have the whole yoga community at my fingertips. I have been getting a lot of feedback on my instagram from people I have inspired... One, today, Gabby Morrison, who has a chronic illness... Lupus / Fibro I am not exactly sure but she said her pain is so great that she can no longer practice yoga. I took the time to write her a pretty lengthy response about my illnesses and how no matter how bad I feel I do as much as I can at the time... "5 minutes is better than no minutes!" And how I have made great progress in the last 6 months alone and I am more impressed with the mental than the physical which is absolutely true. I think back to where I was a few years ago, in and out of psych wards, downing bottles of pills to kill the pain and here I am to day standing taller and stronger than ever. I am still in touch with the suffering of the world, which is what inevitably caused me such emotional pain, but I can now look at it and think differently. I used to think "who would want to live in this world with such pain and suffering" now I think "I must live in this world of pain and suffering and try to spread joy and happiness to others, because if I do not, who will?" I have always been one of "the few" and I will always be one of the few, I just hope that now with the spiritual guidance of my teachers and my friends that I will not feel so alone in my journey and I do not, not anymore. This teacher training is an absolute blessing, the opportunity to be surrounded by so many amazing women with the same goals is so comforting... I am so blessed. Everyday. Namaste.