Follow your dream...

http://www.pachamama.com/pacha-mama-experience.asp So, a dream of mine for quite some time now has been to teach Yoga on the beach in Costa Rica. Ever since I went there I have had this burning desire to go back. The way of life there, the culture, Pura Vida, its just the most amazing place I have ever visited and I long to go back. I found this "hippie commune" a few years ago and have wanted to go so badly I constantly am looking at this website and its golrious pictures. I wish I had the means to go for a month or 6 months and maybe one day I will but I think it will be a hard sell for Tyler... They have retreats however, where you can go for a few days which would be such a wonderful experience. Its so easy to feel close to the earth there... There are so many things that are simply "untouched." To be able to meditate and practice yoga in Costa Rica is a dream that I am chasing! Hopefully after I get my certification I will be able to pay off some debts, earn some money, save some money, get deeper into my practice, perhaps attend some other retreats closer to home and this dream can become a reality. It seems all my dreams and hopes have always settled in the heart of yoga and meditation... Although I wasn't outwardly realizing it... I have come to see it to be true. It fills my heart with joy and understanding of my personal "human condition" on the search for peace and enlightenment. I am struggling however trying to get Tyler to realize these things... I read books about peace and meditation.. he reads Steven King. I do Yoga, he races go-karts. I meditate, he plays video games. I order vegan, he orders steak. And now I have this burning desire for him to follow in my footsteps which would require a huge change in himself, which I know he is not willing to do... Maybe perhaps it will be a gradual process, maybe it will never happen, I do not know but I know in order for things to work between us forever, something is going to have to change. I never wanted to be the kind of woman who wanted to change a man, but when I changed myself it has been such an eye opening experience I only hope he follows. I want him to be happy, but I want him to be happy in the same ways I have fount happiness and that is selfish... but it is selfless at the same time. I want him to be happy for what he has on the inside, not outward material objects... he outwardly enjoys violence and the adredeline rush of speed and to be honest, I find it sad because that is how the world thinks. I begged him to read some of my meditation books with no avail. He prefers books about violent subjects.. Fight Club and what not... where as I do not prefer to read fiction at all and I never have. I like real life... I like knowledge not fantasy. I do not mean to complain because he has been very supportive of my journey in a way I can't describe however I find it annoying when he stares at me while I'm practicing like I am putting on some sort of show for him which is not the case. I find it to be a hinderence and he doesn't understand that. I have been searching for guidance with this dilemma... and have found nothing. What do you do when the one you love is immersed in the "popular culture" while you are one of the few finding beauty under stones? I still have hope... and that's all I can cling to at the moment...