I am.

Today I decided to completely immerse myself in my training and give up alcohol and meat, which I haven't had in about 3 days... So I guess I already have a head start! I am about halfway through Jivamukti Yoga which I am grateful I have read so much in such a short time. I have 2 more books enroute and ordered 3 more today... I practiced my sun salutations while at work again and I find them very grounding... I began to feel a bit stressed because this is the first night I am on my own and I have had to make some pretty big decisions. I am embracing this and hoping that my diligence and attentiveness in my training here at work will pay off. I am learning so many things at the moment, from work and yoga and spirituality... they are all blurring together in this mash of "new" that is both beautiful and over powering... While standing in the lab I was able to get my foot to touch my head in natarajasana... Without really trying, just remembering that there is more to me than my body and mind... something compelled my to dive a little deeper... I am really looking forward to class this morning with Lynn. I feel everyday I have spent doing yoga I have had some sort of breaktrough, an awakening. Everyday. I found myself complaining about a coworker to a coworker today and immediately realized my negativitiy and apologized. I do not want to be a negative person, I want to rise above and transcend and, well... I am, I will and I will continue to. I am working on just "being" as for my anxiety about driving into the city, that I am going to deal with tomorrow. I am not sure what it is, why I can't overcome this... But, I will. I must. I can and will. I am. As for my "new" vegetarianism.... I am blessed to be able to make this choice. As a child we do not have this opportunity... In a situation where we don't control our own food sources, we do not have this choice. I am lucky to have the freedom to choose and I am, again, choosing non-violence. I have made this decision before and I find this is the easiest decision I have made in a long time. I have always had this feelings of compassion towards animals, but it is easy to let these emotions become hindered by this society in which we live. It is easy to become desensitived, to become one of the many. I know now and that I always have been, one of the few. I am odd, I am compassionate, I feel the suffering of many and this is the decision I am again making to stand up for those who cannot speak... Those who do not have the choice... Humans are controlling, manipulative as much to animals as they are to other humans and unfortunately I have fallen victim many times. However, I have the opportunity to get back up again, as I have over and over again stronger and more enlightened. I am making choices, because they benefit the world as a whole... because I want to spread light and joy. I am the few, I am the mind, I am the body, I am the self. Namaste.